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Sebastian Scholl

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Magic White Powder

The powder I’m referring to is unlikely what you’re thinking of… but it does deliver about 100 times the utility at 1/100th of the cost.

Girls and guys alike spend hundreds to thousands of dollars each year on hygiene products that are criminal to their health.  I will spare you the health lecture, (because that is NOT the subject of this
post) but take 5 minutes to read over the ingredients of your soaps, toothpastes, shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, skin creams, mouth washes, face scrubs and colognes, and I promise you will learn something.  To say the least, that “Cucumber & Green-Tea” shampoo of yours most likely has everything in it –  except cucumbers and green-tea.

As is in any market, the bigger your buck the better choices you’ll be able to make.  But in all honesty, who wants to spend their disposable income on fancy hygiene products?  Whether your bar of soap was made from McDonald’s reclaimed fryer fat or a camel who enjoys daily massages, both do get the job done and “appear” harmless.  On the flip said, though, how does spending $5 on a product that replaces – and works better than – your shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, and face scrub?  On top of that, would you splurge $5 bucks on this stuff if it were to get you through 4 to 6 months of grooming?

The answer to this riddle my friends is Baking Soda.  Most popularly sold by the Arm & Hammer company, this miracle product has proven so successful over the years that they haven’t barely bothered to change the packaging.  I can only imagine an A&H board meeting, “Research and Development? Marketing Strategies? Fuck that!  People love this product so much they flush it down the sink and go buy more.”

The following is a list of awesome applications for baking soda, but is not limited to:

  • Wash your hands with it to remove even the rankest stank.
  • Have heartburn? Half glass of water mixed with a teaspoon of baking soda #cured.
  • Insect and jellyfish stings – baking soda draws out the venom.
  • Unblock a stuffy nose by dropping a teaspoon of baking soda into your vaporizer.
  • It smothers out small fires…
  • Turn it into modeling clay by mixing 1 cup with 1/4 cups of water and one cup of cornstarch.
  • Drive safely – wipe your windshield with it to repel rain.
  • Need new paint brushes? Restore old ones by boiling them in a 1/2 gallon of water, 1/4 cup of vinegar, and a cup of baking soda.
  • Deter insects – put it under sinks and along basement windows to repel cockroaches and ants.
  • Health enhancing – soak dried beans in a baking soda solution to make them more digestible.
  • Like your omelets fluffy?  Add half a teaspoon of baking soda for every three eggs.
  • Never scrub your toilet – add 1 cup to the toilet, leave it for an hour, and then flush…DONE
  • Add water to make a paste for shinning up stainless steel and chrome.
  • Ready to cook/grill? It even unclogs gas stoves.

Needless to say, MacGyver’s laundry list of skills and accomplishments seems simply mundane once set next to baking soda.  Whenever you’re in any situation and don’t know what to do, just quickly seek out baking soda.  The probability is on your side that you will look like a prodigy of resourcefulness and be able to fix the problem.

When it comes to using Baking Soda as a hygiene product, here is what you do.

  1. Put it in a bowl with some water.
  2. Mix it up
  3. Pour over, or apply to, hair, skin or tooth brush
  4. Scrub thoroughly
  5. Wish you could get all the money back you’ve wasted on other products

Don’t believe me?  Wash your hair one time with baking soda, just once.  You will feel cheated by those who never told you the secret. 

-Sepp

       

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