NEW YORK – Rutgers State University faculty eagerly waits for the upcoming fall of 2013, the semester in which they will be introducing their new standardized curriculum. After months of academic planning, the university’s administration believes that by narrowing the course options into one path, they will be better able to address the needs of their diverse student body.
“We have always found difficulties when marketing our students to employers. Even though they [the students] all come from unique and interesting backgrounds, not enough of them have the same skill sets”, stated Dean Thomas D. Papathomas. “By standardizing the curriculum and offering students the opportunity to pursue only one major, it is our belief that the professors will be able to better assess an individual’s performance.”
The curriculum, which emphasizes general studies, is designed to guarantee that all students will equally learn the same valuable information, giving one another a competitive edge, against each other, that is necessary to succeed in the work force.
“Our economy works like a bakery. Many ingredients come in that are mixed, shaped and produced into a variety of high demand products. Our goal is simply to make sure that our students are the sharpest cookie-cutters in the factory”, commented Jeff Morgan, Rutgers entrepreneurial studies professor. As one of the leading advocates for the standardized curriculum, Morgan is working on getting other state and private universities on-board.
Related News Articles:
– New Prescription Drug Can Save Children Suffering from Limitless Curiosity Syndrome
– 12 Ways to Go About Finding a Psychiatrist Who “Get’s You”
– Cornell Student Suicide Rate Drops after Installing 35ft Fence Around Campus Perimeter
A Satirical News Piece, by Sebastian Scholl