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University Graduates First Class of Adult Entertainers

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“In today’s hook-up culture, young teens and adults are more comfortable then ever before with screwing as many people as possible and letting all their friends know about it – particularly at universities”, said Nova.  “This qualifies them as perfect suitors for the well known, dynamic, and growing adult entertainment industry.
Brown University’s Dean James Campbell appointed Nova to her professorship after a short meeting where Nova demonstrated her ability to teach the courses “Body Language in Film” and “Foreplay 101”.  “In less than 2 minutes I felt she was perfect for the job.  By showing me her wealth of knowledge and practical experience, I saw that she could perform many positions and the opening would be a perfect fit”, reported Campbell.
Now four years after the curriculum’s inception, Brown has proudly graduated their first class of adult entertainers.  The graduates are of different ethnicities, religions, genders, hair colors and body types; however, they all believe they have something to offer. 
In an interview after the graduation ceremony, Stacy Suave – who graduated top of her class with the honor summa lov cum – explained how blessed she feels.  “My years leading to college were both confusing and oppressive.  While friends and idols were encouraging me to post scandalous pictures to Facebook and spread’em, classic societal values were hindering me.  Having Dean Campbell introduce me to the program was liberating, to say the least.”
Looking forward, the university is aware of its challenges that lay ahead.  Despite the porn industry often being seen under a negative light, Brown believes that they can bring change.  By endorsing the program with their established reputation to legitimize adult entertainers as educated professionals, they may be able to erase the negative stigma associated with the profession.
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A Satirical Piece by Sebastian Scholl
-Sepp

One comment on “University Graduates First Class of Adult Entertainers

  1. joe phillips says:

    Not funny and not very good satire.

    Like

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