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Arrested Teen Uses Prison Phone Call to Order Domino’s

Stone Being Taken to Squad Car

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BOULDER – Marijuana users worldwide celebrate cannabis day on April 20th.  The holiday – largely recognized in California, Colorado, and Amsterdam – encourages pot smokers to publically puff amongst friends and peers.  At Colorado University of Boulder alone, reportedly twelve thousands students attended the Norlin Quad 420 celebration last year. 
After not realizing that his watch was four days and five hours ahead, yesterday, habitual pot smoker, and CU Boulder student, Connor Stone preemptively attended the Norlin Quad 420 celebration.  Unaware of his four-day early arrival to the party, he was soon arrested by local police for carrying five ounces of marijuana. 
After being Mirandized, authorities reported that Stone abused his right to remain silent, saying absolutely nothing while being taken to the station.  “Besides an occasional ‘whoa’, he alternated between looking aimlessly out the back window and staring intensely at his hands”, said officer John Ryan. “However, we were unsure how to handle what happened at the station”.
What officer Ryan refers to was Stone’s one courtesy phone call, where officers caught him attempting to order an, “extra large pizza with everything on top and garlic bread sticks” from Domino’s.  “There is no law stating he couldn’t order pizza delivery to the prison.  The only thing that could prevent it is prisoners not having the money to pay – but Domino’s had his card on file.  I just guess no one expected someone to try.”
This morning, waking up in a cell and asking a nearby officer where he was, Stone was given a second phone call to contact his parents who had him released on bail.
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A Satirical Piece, by Sebastian Scholl

-Sepp 

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