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Sebastian Scholl

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Sebastian Scholl

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Some People are Just Stupid

The banner above is the name and slogan of my personal satirical news website, The Salty Wag.  To those of you who are unfamiliar with satire, here is the Webster definition:

“a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn” 
If you are STILL unsure of what a satire may be, here is the Wikipedia definition, followed by some synonyms (words that mean the same, or nearly the same, thing as a certain word).
“The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices. (i.e. irony, parody, lampoon, spoof, sarcasm, and mockery)”
To those of you who may have read some of my satires, I hope that the code has not been that difficult to crack.  Whether you find them funny or not, I truly believe that anyone with a basic command of the English language can realize that every news article I write is complete bullshit.  The quotes, titles, plots, and related news headlines, all fabricated on my laptop (however, the pictures are real!  I randomly choose them off Google image…).  Therefore, never ever, EVER, read something on The Salty Wag then go to lunch with friends and start the conversation off with, “Did you guys hear what happened?!”
To enjoy the rest of this post, please read my latest news satire on Jodi Arias [CLICK HERE TO READ] if you haven’t already.  In short, after Jodi Arias’ plea for her life last Tuesday, during which she said she will continue to donate her hair to Locks of Love during her life in prison, I wrote a fake news report saying that the president of Locks of Love wrote a letter to the jury begging for Arias’ life-because she has such nice hair.
 I wrote the article for my friend, Regis Giles, who posted it on her own website www.GirlsJustWannaHaveGuns.com – it’s awesome, check it out.  During the first 24 hours it got great activity!  171 people emailed it, 31 Facebook likes, 30 Facebook shares, 132 tweets, and 26 comments – I was stoked.  However, just because people liked the article…doesn’t mean they understood it.

Below are screen shots of some of the comments people posted regarding the Jodi Arias article with my commentary – they are quite amusing. 
Tank: I’m surprised to hear you’ve read at all in your time.

Conservative: you wouldn’t donate if they did? Do you donate?

Nolan: Locks of Love has been deteriorating justice for too long now!

welDuh: your name is the joke.

Christopher: I would love to do a live interview with you

ves: HE GETS IT! HE GETS…and he’s gone 😦

Richard: [abstain]

Winona: I imaging you being a wonderful and passionate mother
Bob: “Believes all Obama voters should be executed”
There is not much else to say about these comments.  If you like the satires, please enjoy more and follow/like TheSaltyWag.com – besides that, some people are just stupid.

-Sepp

 

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