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Sebastian Scholl

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Sebastian Scholl

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T-Rex On StageThere is no doubt that everyone wants to be a rock-star.  We dream of drunkenly screaming in front of thousands of fans lyrics about sex, drugs, and rock & roll, or swooning millions with melodic choruses on love and heart ache.  Imagine being every girl and guy’s secret crush and unspoken roll model – sounds awesome, right?  While dreaming though, we are usually reminded of reality when the hot water runs out in the shower.

Unfortunately, the rock-star life is not in the cards for all of us.  Maybe it’s stage fright that holds you back from sharing your musical gift with the world, though for most of us it is simply the lack of a gift.  But when it comes down to it, us “other guys” don’t really care all that much about being the actual rock star; we just want the perks that come with being a rock star.

Getting any girl or guy you want, wearing white leather pants for any occasion, going to rehab as a publicity stunt, or make a living by endorsing charities once your music begins to suck; you know…the perks.  You probably wonder how you can receive such spectacular abilities without being in the spotlight.  And that is why I’ve compiled a list of 5 entry-level occupations that deliver some of the same perks as being a rock star.

Margot-James-Politician-Jesse-Jane-Porn-Star

1)    Porn star: Seen the music video to Blurred Lines yet?  Well if not, it’s a good example of how once you become a rock star it can be hard to find time to wear clothes without someone trying to rip them off.  Pretty much, anyone you want at anytime you want will lay you.  The only other profession that allows you to spend this much time in the sack is undoubtedly being a porn star.  Maybe you don’t get to always choose your partners…but when it comes to quantity you are most definitely on par and often exceeding rock star status.  Plus, if you’re a girl, it’s likely that you will have VERY loyal fans.

images2)    Human Research Guinea Pig: Rock stars do drugs like they’re going out of style, and some of them even owe their success to drug use.  The only thing that tops that is that they can often get their drugs for free!  Maybe you wont get to choose which drugs you’re taking, but research labs are constantly looking for human genie pigs to use for drug research.  And sometimes research labs are looking for people for alcohol research, too.  Therefore, if you choose the guinea pig path you will be getting drugs for free as well as paid to do them.

bouncer3)    Bouncer: Wouldn’t it be nice to roll up to any club or bar and just skip the line with your friends because you’re famous?  Well, while fame may be the only way to get into most venues with such style, being a bouncer can help out at a few.  Bouncers usually get to roll up to their work places on their off days and jump right in, even with a few friends if they are lucky.  Also, if you become friends with bouncers at other venues you can often pull the same card.

french-street-performer4)    Street Performer: Street performers can do anything to put on a show.  Whether that is juggling, jokes, or just being an idiot, the world is their oyster.  However, what makes their job similar to being a rock star is that they can wear anything they want and usually become more successful the more eccentric they dress.  Ever feel like wearing faux leather spandex pants with a cut off jean jacket and a top hat?  It will only help you in this field!

11images5)    Freelance Journalist: Rock stars get to travel the world and write about the past, present, and future.  Well so does a freelance journalist.  Pick a place in the world you find the most appealing and travel there to write.  While many people spend years studying to become a respectable journalist, anyone with a pen and pad or laptop can give it a shot!

-Sepp

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