Dear friends, family, and blog followers, I want to apologize for my absence. That being my absence from both writing and being apart of the lives of those of you who I do know personally. To all of you who have been continually reaching out since mid December last year, thank you for your support. Looking back, I’m embarrassed by how I’ve handled my situation.
Ever since the accident I’ve been receding. Further and further back within myself. I really thought it was over for me. That I had been robbed, both physically and mentally, of the tools that were essential to me living out the dreams I’d for a long time dreamt, and achieving the goals I had set for myself. Simply put, I had given up.
A week or two ago I hit what I believe was rock bottom. As much as I feel urged to, I’m not here to tell you what being there felt like. Instead, I’m writing this to tell you that being there was one of the most powerful experiences of my life.
In a way, after feeling as though I’d been in a free fall since the new year, finding bottom did hurt, but it gave me a platform on which I could stand back up on. And while standing there, I took the time I needed to breath, and look back up again.
I thought that there was no light at the end of the tunnel, when now I realize that I had just refused to see the light that had always been there. I was feeling sorry for myself when there was no point to. I’m most definitely not the first person this has happened to. And I most definitely will not be the last one. To wallow in my own sorrow serves no purpose.
In life, we have to play the hand we are dealt. Some people are dealt better hands than others, however we are all playing the game at a round table. Meaning that it’s not the hand you have, but how you play it. And it’s time for me to anti back up and start playing my hand again.
So, what now? Now, I resolve to not only regain the ground I’d lost, but push myself far beyond the limits that I’d thought my life would be confined to. My goal is not to live a life in-spite of my new handicap, but with it. As if nothing had changed, but I just grew – as we all do in life.
The only boundaries that you, I, or anyone is bound by are the boundaries that we allow ourselves to believe exist. I’m fortunate to have the love of my friends, family and community. And that, that is worth much more than what I’ve lost.